Control Freak.

Can't help it, but I am a control freak.

It's odd. Whenever something requires completion, I have a strong tendency to take it over, to drive it hard until it actually IS done. Either when cooking, buying a present or driving a study, I feel somehow responsible and carry the heavy weight over my shoulders - no matter how painful it can be sometimes.

I cannot help it. I can't learn to take things easier. I can't wait and see. I need to have it under control - within a margin of error, but overall solved. It hurts me even more when it isn't. Cause I can't stop thinking about it, once and once again in my mind: X weeks to go, you'd better get all in place. Just like grandma, who would not stop searching until she found a lost thing home. I won't stop, till it's closed.

I push, but never stop. I give my best under pressure, as I become somehow smarter, faster and even more multitasking. But in the end, it hurts me, coz I am human too and without dreaming, smiling & talking... I am nothing.