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28.10.10

Namaste.


I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me.

The first thing to learn in a yoga lesson is the thankful meditation. Simple but effective, consists on closing your eyes and focusing on everything you are thankful for. Funnily enough, regardless of how tough your day was, you realize that actually, there are thousand things around you to smile for: However, that you're so sad about, it's not really that bad. Or even if it is, it has a solution. There's always a way to get around problems, a chance to fight and win the battle.

In my namaste, many things come to my mind. Him, mummy, our little palace, having jobs that give enough money and time to enjoy what the life is. Everyone around, from Stina to all who I left behind who care about me. Yes. It ain't always great- now, I do feel shitty a LOT more often - but still, with things in perspective, it's pretty awesome.

I often thing about how do people around me feel about themselves. What do singles do when they get home. Nobody to argue with, nobody to cook dinner for. Just peace and loneliness(?).

Really? Do they really feel like that?

Loneliness is a strange feeling. You can be alone while surrounded by people or you can be in peace and feel complete on your own. To be honest, I think that loneliness is just another perception, just like love. There's no way of loving others unless you love yourself, to start with. So in the same way, you'd never feel complete with anyone, unless you are in peace on your own.

It's so easy for me to say, while he cuddles me in the sofa. It wouldn't be so, if he left me. Sometimes I wonder, what would happen then? Me, alone in this cold country. Surrounded by older people at work, no energy to start from scratch again - specially now, considering my destroyed medicated self-confidence. Why shall I try? Nobody will ever appreciate me for what I am, with my thousand problems, in such a patient loving way as he does. It's hard for me to respect me so how would anyone ever do that? I'll drop the idea. Too scary for the moment.

This modern life is so isolated at the end of the day. Everyone here has iPhones. Facebook, Twitter, Gowalla, all around the clock. But really, how many of them would go and actually meet someone? How many would be able to bare their feelings while staring someone else in the eyes? When did it become so hard to express ourselves as humans in this all-communicating world? I don't think that those"50 billion connected devices" which some companies have as vision will make this world any better.

More human warmth, fresh air and less virtual-thing - that's what this World needs. There's nothing as fresh air on your face, a warm hug or a handwritten letter waiting in your mailbox. Change. You'd see. There is always a workaround and just a matter of will to actually win.

Any challenge you manage to overcome will make you stronger. Will is a seed which grows with effort and victory. Try. Get over it. Next time, fight the extra mile. Add another one. Step by step, you would realize how strong and great you actually are. Nothing is impossible and, at the end of the day, all big challenges are fought (and won) alone.
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